Ramblings from Retirement – Real Dads

 Ramblings from Retirement – Real Dads

By Retired Pastor Lee Hemen

June 21, 2021

My father was one of those quiet dads that didn’t say much but when he did you usually listened. My older siblings had a hard time with this which I could never figure out. However we all knew that if Dad said, “don’t” it was don’t, if he said, “yes” it was yes, and the same with his “no”. No was no and we didn’t dare go ask Mom.

My father had advice he would offer up to us once in a while that I kind of tucked away. He would tell us that “Nothing in life is free.” Meaning that there is always a “catch” and we needed to be aware of this fact. Another was similar when he would remind us that the “Government never gives you something for nothing.” He would also remind us that “Freedoms are easily lost but hard to regain.” This last one I did not understand until later in life. He would offer up humorous ones as well, like “Do not be so open minded that you let your brains fall out of your head” and that “You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but don’t pick your friends’ nose!” He would also quip, “I believe like Einstein concerning relatives; they’re all relative.”

My father had a dry sense of humor. I remember quite well one time we went on vacation to Canada we took the wrong highway and ended up at a Canadian Mental Institution. We turned around and as we were driving back he surreptitiously slowly unrolled a roll of toilet paper out the back window of the car. After it was about 20 feet long (toilet paper was a lot stronger back then), flapping behind the car, my mother noticed and in her most deeply mortified voice lamented, “Lowell! What do you think you are doing? They’re going to think you’re an escapee!” We all laughed. I remember watching my Dad and uncle diligently place deer and boot prints and sled marks on our roof and front yard to make it look like Santa had visited us on Christmas Eve.

I remember also that it was not unusual for us to wake up to get ready for school and have my father say, “Let’s go to the beach!” or “Let’s go fishing or camping!” And off we would go. I do not necessarily recommend this as a habit but once in a while it does not hurt to do so as a family. Some of my fondest memories are all of us wrapped in blankets, laying on top of one canvas tarp and huddled under another one sleeping on the beach or out in the woods somewhere. He taught me how to make a fire, to survive in the wild, where to find a dry place to sleep during rainy or inclement weather, and how to find food to eat in the woods; how to make simple traps and how to fish. He would say that “Fishing is not always about catching fish.” I understand that one now as well.

Paul would write the early church, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’--which is the first commandment with a promise—‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4 NIV)” My father made sure we honored our mother. He taught us that if she asked us to do something, we had better do it immediately; we were to hold the door for her, and help her with household chores without gripping. My sister never learned this effectively – the household chores part. Yet I can never remember my Dad exasperating us as children. His yes was yes and his no was no and he treated us with gentle firmness.

Too many children do not have consistent fathers in their lives and we are suffering from it as a Nation. If we do not take on the biblical nurturing nature of fatherhood our children will find it in other places like gangs, political nonsense, or groups of people that are antithetical to what you believe or hold dear. Many can be biological or adoptive fathers but few are real dads. Which are you?

This article is copyrighted © 2021 by Lee Hemen and is the sole property of Lee Hemen, and may not be used unless you quote the entire article and have my permission.