What Love Means to a Real Man - 1 John 4:19

What Love Means to a Real Man - 1 John 4:19
by Pastor Lee Hemen
June 15, 2008 AM

In a world where love has been reduced to rutting and acting like mere animals, we have lost sight of what this word truly means. Oh, I have heard the myriad of sermons that discuss ad nausea the different Greek words for “love” in the Bible and in Greek culture, but let’s not go there. Let’s instead talk about what this word is supposed to mean right here, right now, in the verse of Scripture we are studying today.

John wrote earlier that sometimes a believer looks forward with apprehension to the judgment seat of Christ, because God’s love has not reached its fullness yet. The word “perfect” that John uses is the idea of “completeness” as he expressed it in 1John 2:5 and 1John 4:12. He writes that the matured experience of God’s love (loving one another) is incompatible with any fear and expels fear from the heart of the believer. John’s use of the word “fear” has to do with punishment and is literally, “fear has punishment.” But those who live in love, know God. Why? John knew that “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” (1 John 4:10) Today, since it is Father’s Day, I thought we should look at this verse and see what God’s love means to a real man.

READ: 1 John 4:19

I have discovered that for the real man of God…

I. God’s love is more than an emotional response!

1. Love motivates a man to be man! Jesus was motivated by his willingness to do the tough thing even when it was not popular. He willingly stood out in the crowd and spoke the truth of God. He was sensitive when He needed to be, but it was not a ‘weakness” with Jesus. He willingly spoke to a woman at a well, when no one else would have. He stopped to bend down and speak with a woman who touched the hem of His garment. He was amazed at a Romans soldier’s response and loved children crawling all over Him. It is interesting that a lot of people want to focus on Jesus’ tears as if this will make Him more “sensitive” in their perspective: How He wept over Jerusalem, His friend Lazarus’ death, His own fear in the garden. I find this rather odd and I believe they somehow want to make Jesus seem smaller and more susceptible and thereby feminize Him more. Jesus’ tears were never offered that way. No real man’s tears ever are. It had nothing to do with not being afraid to cry in public as a man. Men, like Jesus, know what to shed tears over. Love of country, friends you love, family, and those you sacrifice yourself for. Isn’t this what Jesus did? And, folks, this is why real men love Jesus. God’s love is more than an emotional response!

EXAMPLE: My father was not one to say the word “love” out loud. He was raised during a time when men were men and not some mannequin with coiffed hair, a shiny suit, and flashy pearly white teeth. It was a time when men were measured by their word as it was followed up in action, not in a “I feel your pain” phoniness. Love of country was shown by the sacrifice of hearth and home and of self if necessary. Love of family was demonstrated by hard work, telling the truth, being faithful and having integrity. Love for God was shown in loyalty to church, attendance, and selfless-giving of time, talent, and treasure. Excuses were not made, never uttered, and were seen as weakness for those who would rather whine than do what was expected of them. They saw love as an active thing. It was more than an emotional response. You did what you knew to be the right thing even when it cost you personally.

I have also found that for the real man of God…

II. God’s love was expressed in Jesus the man!

1. Jesus shows us what a real man is to be like! He is the epitome of manliness and the demonstration of what I just described above. When I looked at Jesus and His life for the first time without having some priest or pastor tell me who Jesus was, I was astounded. Astounded that they never described for me the actual man, Jesus. He always came across as some wimp who went about being a goodie-two-shoes, soft-spoken, thin, kind of all knowing ethereal human being. Ugh! Double ugh! I was shocked to learn that Jesus was a lot like the real men I grew up with and admired. He was loyal, full of integrity, always spoke the truth, was bold, strong, had a great sense of purpose and self worth and loved to laugh at Himself and others. Sadly, much of Christianity has lost who Jesus truly is: Love! Love just like these men were and are that I described earlier. I read a popular book about Christian men, and I will not give out the name of it nor its author in order to graciously protect him. While it had some good things within its pages, it was full of a lot of Christian psychobabble. I ended up throwing the book away, because I did not want anyone else to ever read the copy I owned. Why? Because I have found that real love is found in the man called Jesus as discovered within the pages of the Bible. John knew this as well. He had heard Him, looked on Him daily, touched Him, and proclaimed his words of life. (1 John 1:1) John knew that real men know that God’s love was expressed in Jesus the man!

EXAMPLE: When my father died, my mother got both of us boys together and she told us something. She said, “Boys, you are now the men of the family.” We knew what she meant. This was not some Hollywood line uttered in a mushy movie script but the unadulterated truth of life. We were the “men” of our family now that our father had died and it was expected of us to act like it. We would be the ones who would be expected to sacrifice our selfishness and make sure the house was taken care of, money was earned to help pay the bills, and food was cooked and prepared for when Mom got home. We were now the “men” of the family, not by choice, but by circumstances. We now had to express it in what we did from that moment on. Today in many homes, children have lost what it means for men to be men. Children are not taught self-discipline. Boys are seen as something to quiet down and make into masculine girls. Never forget that Jesus lost His father at an early age and became “the man of the family.” He was the oldest. Some of His last words uttered while dying on the cross was His concern for His mother, whom He entrusted to his best friend John! (John 19:26-27) Jesus showed us what a real man is to be like. God’s love was expressed in Jesus the man.

For me, I know that for the real man of God…

III. Jesus displayed love!

1.Jesus had the audacity to first love me! When I was truly unlovable, a sinner, depraved, and utterly contemptible in the sight of God, Jesus loved me. How do I know this to be true? Well look at His actions. Look at His oneness of purpose. How He kept His word, joked, laughed, and boldly did the hard task without whining and expected His followers to do the same and even more! (John 14:12) Notice how He spit on some dirt and rubbed it in the eyes of a blind man. How He willingly went into the homes of and ate with sinners and publicans. How He spoke with prostitutes, soldiers, priests, beggars, fishermen, teachers, lawyers, men, women, boys, and girls of every social class and stripe. And how He resolutely turned His face toward His death and boldly took the steps in that direction to follow God’s plan for His life. This was no “I feel your pain, so I guess I will die for you,” kind of selfishness. It was a unwavering act of will whereby His total life lead to one moment in time that He knew He would have to face alone, where even those who followed Him would desert Him. Yet Jesus, the man, followed through to the end. He took the hill, He kept His word, He bore the mean-spiritedness of people, the shame, the unjustified anger of others, the pettiness of politicians, and the ungodliness of religious men. He willing did the tough thing and did it without analyzing it to death. Real men of God love Jesus because He displayed love by dying for them and forgiving them!

EXAMPLE: Recently there has been a lot of talk about the “Great Generation,” meaning the WWII generation. Why is that? Did you ever wonder why people are so fascinated by it and its people? My father was part of that generation. He was a little too old to join the military but was able to train Army Engineers and Seabees how to run heavy equipment in Alaska during the War. I believe it is called this because in that generation you discover people who displayed the true character of what it means to sacrifice. No excuses, no whining attitude, no “me first” glamour and glitz of this pathetic generation of narcissistic introspection where a movie about city women and sex is a box-office hit. It speaks to the kind of leadership we want as a people. Do we want those who are motivated by self-loathing as to who they truly are as an individual, or those who willingly went and sacrificed and displayed their devotion to their nation? Do we follow a real man like Jesus or someone who spends time in constant aversion to display God’s love? Real men love Jesus, because He displayed love.

Conclusion:
I love Jesus because as a man He first loved me and showed me just what a man truly is. Not through words alone, but in His life and how He lived it. My love for Him is demonstrated in my own life through my actions of being a Godly man. I follow my leader who was and is a real man. Do you? Happy Father’s Day, men of God.
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NOTE: This article is copyrighted by Pastor Lee Hemen © 2008 and the property of Pastor Lee Hemen. You are welcome to copy it, email it, or use it but please if you copy it, email it, or use it you must do so in its entirety.

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